After Lulu's MRI in the fall, we received a follow up call
that pretty much indicated "nothing really new" was learned from
the images, so when I made Lulu's follow up appointment that required us to wait a couple of months, I hadn't expected to learn what we did today. And,
honestly, I wasn't prepared to see the images that I saw. I won't be
posting them publicly because they belong to her, but I wasn't
prepared--at all--to see such a sizeable gray space on our daughter's brain images that it
forced me to gasp for air. She is a walking miracle. And, honestly, Lulu
amazes me even more now knowing what a fighter our girl is.
The images gave evidence of a significant bleed, and based
on the nature of the damage, the neurologist believes that Lulu's brain
injury occurred before 28 or 29 weeks of gestation. And based on the
placement of Lulu's not one--but two--injuries on opposite sides of her brain, she also surmised
that Lulu may have been injured intentionally--that she may have survived an abortion attempt. Yes, you read that
right. I can't even type it without tears flooding in. I don't want to
engage in a pro-life debate here, but to think that this beautiful child
may have survived an act that would've erased her presence from this very world? How do we even digest that? How do I ever thank God enough
for this precious gift? We'll obviously never know the whole story of Lulu's
rough beginnings and whether this is truly what happened to her in utero or not, but we can
surely praise our ever-loving Father for breathing life into Lulu, for
protecting her against all odds, and for giving her to us.
As far as the damage, we can also thank God
for making babies brains with such incredible plasticity. Had Lulu suffered this
type of injury later in life, it may have taken so much more of her
movement and function away. I asked how all of this will affect her. The neurologist said she's not one to predict the future. Lulu is dealing with a compound effect given her institutional delays, but she is doing so incredibly well, and God made her with
one heck of a determination. She is crazy bright and so full of personality. The doctor explained the damage in this
way: Imagine a small office of ten people who are maxed out in their
workload, and then three of them are let go. Now you have less people
with an overcrowded workload and that results in some issues...some
things fall through the cracks, some things are forgotten, some mistakes are made, and they get angry
and handle things the wrong way. You get the picture...that's what's happening
in Lulu's pretty little head.
When Lulu was
recently baptized on the fourth Sunday of Advent, as we waited to celebrate the birth of Jesus with expectant hope, my mom and dad gave her a beautiful "Simple Blessings" cross and wrote this, "The small simple cross is a symbol of
the power of simple blessings.
Lulu is twice blessed; first by surviving a difficult birth, and
secondly by catching the eyes of Lisa and Jimmy Murphy. That is
“Spiritual" fate." When my mom wrote that, she had no idea how much of a
survivor her granddaughter truly is. I pray those waters of baptism
will continue to heal her and protect this precious child even more...I pray that her life will glorify God in the same
miraculous ways in which she was born to live on this green earth. We baptized her with the name Jane (her middle name) meaning "Gift from God." And that she surely is. Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ, King of Endless Glory.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
