Tonight as we sat down to dinner, Madi and Daddy insisted on music. I tuned in to the holiday music channel, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Daniel won't be coming home for Christmas.
We won't get the picture on Santa's lap with Madi laughing and Daniel crying his eyes out.
He won't get to help decorate the house and break a few ornaments.
He won't get to watch Frosty and Rudolph and all those other Christmas classics.
He won't get to dance around the house singing Jingle Bells with Madi and Daddy.
He won't get to drive around and ooh and ahh at the beautiful lights.
He won't get the joy of meeting Matthew, his cousin, for the first time.
He won't get to see the beautiful stocking that Aunt Sheila knitted him by hand.
He won't know the awesome smell of a real Christmas tree.
We won't get to make Christmas cookies together (okay...that's a stretch and probably wouldn't happen, but it's fun to think about)
We won't see the joy on his face after his first visit from Santa.
As I sit in my puddle of tears, I am going to try to re-focus on what Daniel will see for Christmas.
He will see Jesus. He will be sitting right there on His lap enjoying every moment. Daniel will be listening to the choir of angels. He will see the brightest lights we can ever imagine. Daniel will be Home for Christmas.
And Daniel will be watching us...missing him.