My head has been swirling with anxiety in the past weeks. I have been waking in the night--almost every night--with worry about Joseph. I felt compelled to pray for him in the middle of the night.
You adoptive parents know the feeling well. Who's caring for him? Is he being fed enough? Is he being loved by anyone?
The questions that we ponder, that we dwell on constantly about our children, in the months we wait to meet them.
Reflection upon Matthew 6:34 has helped me quite a bit recently.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
I've been on a mission for information. Joseph is in an orphanage that I'd never heard of. And, oddly, I couldn't find anyone else who'd heard of it either. That left me so curious.
Our adoption agency knew nothing about this orphanage. I had posted on quite a few Facebook groups in my quest...advocacy groups, families with children from China, even a group of the families who've adopted from the province that Joseph is from. Yet nothing. I even reached out to the Founder of Love Without Boundaries, and she, too, had no answers to fill in the pieces of the puzzle.
Two theories had developed in my mind...either they just recently opened their doors to adoption and have recently been preparing the children's files, or this orphanage has a partnership with a European agency.
Then, in a message from a wonderful sister-in-Christ (Amy--the same kind friend who visited Olivia in the orphanage), she said she was going to reach out to someone in particular on my behalf.
And she did just that.
I cannot even begin to tell you what's transpired since then...but I will. In another post.
Suffice it to say that we've scored, and we feel so much peace it's beyond words.